Plant Shaming for Fun!

pruning, how to prune plants, bad pruning, rosemary

 

I feel like we need to talk about bad pruning again, guys.

Because here’s the thing: I’m not even really having to look for this stuff at all. It just kind of jumps out at you when you’re least expecting it and it could happen pretty much anywhere in Vegas, as far as I can tell. I do find it far too often on commercial properties, which tells me that sometimes it’s professionals doing the cutting. They’re actually getting paid to do this to plants.

 

Now, we’ve already covered overpruned palms, so I won’t go into that again here. It’s just that this image sums up the problem so, uh, graphically, that I thought it was worth putting it out there again.

palm trees, bad pruning, how to prune palm trees

Also, I sincerely did not realize what these palm trees looked like in my first post on the subject. Then a guy at work pointed it out to me and now I can’t not see it. I won’t spell it out for you, but I firmly believe that if you stare really long and hard at the picture, you’ll get the general idea.

My sincerest apologies for taking you there just now.

Alright then, if everyone’s done staring, let drag ourselves up out of the gutter, shall we? We have far worthier matters to concern ourselves with.

 

These poor desert spoons, for example, could serve as poster children for fighting Chronic Pruning Abuse. Personally, I’m a fan of these plants in their natural form, which I think looks like a big, spiny beachball, but I can certainly understand that some people prefer a more groomed look.

 

desert spoons, bad pruning, how to prune plants

This, however, is not groomed. This is shit.

 

Now on this next one, I do have to admit that something in me actually finds the rosemary pruned to showcase the boulder parked underneath it kind of cute. It’s making me want to play a game with the rest of these images. What do you see when you look at these?

Are you in? Okay! Let’s get started…

pruning, rosemary, how to prune plants

It’s a hedgehog! I definitely see a hedgehog. Why? Do you see something else?

 

pruning, how to prune plants, bad pruning, rosemary

Umm, the letter J! Or an L, if you’re standing on the other side of it! Or perhaps an uncomfortable and unstable chair for a tiny person! Or a plant that’s been pruned by someone high on peyote!

I’m fairly sure it’s that last one.

bad pruning, arborvitae, how to prune plants

A mushroom! No, wait! A mushroom cloud! Wait, wait! A protest against the deal with Iran!

Subtle, guys. Very, very subtle.

 

If you have some pictures of heinous pruning laying around that you’d like to share, I’d truly love to see them. Please do email them to me at julie@gardeningonmars.com anytime, day or night.  Now, go enjoy your week!

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